Naughty Bear Review: The Stuffing Came Out, and Nobody Had Thread

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I want to start first and foremost by saying that “anyone with a slight sensitivity to motion sickness should never so much as even attempt to play this game.”

That is just one, if not the biggest issue that arises when you first start chipping away at the fuzzy armor that is Naughty Bear. Despite what A2N was attempting to do – which was get away from the hustle and bustle of your everyday ‘slaughter house’ games like Manhunt or God of War, – what they delivered instead was a game that was wrapped beautifully, yet turned out to be full of mud.

Playing as Naughty Bear, you traverse your creepy little island of Paradise as you kill every single thing around you in sneaky, stealthy, and sometimes abrupt ways. Telling you of your objective and fueling your rage is a disembodied narrator, who makes the journey comical and nearly worthwhile. Nearly.


As you venture forth to exact your vengeance on the other bears (all because you were never invited to a party, for shame!), your goal is meet a specific objective and specific score. However, it’s not just enough to make that score and thus the problems begin to arise as the same objectives crop up over and over. First you only kill a certain amount of bears. Then it could be all of the bears. Next, how about scare them into “insanity” to bring your score up. After that the objectives just repeat themselves till the game is over.

That still may have been passable if there was the “hundreds” of different ways to kill your victims as promised, however, that is not the case. At most, I could think of twenty-five that would be acceptable without getting you in trouble by any Objective rules, the breaking of which will cause you to summarily have to start over. Sure you can replace a grenade for a bear trap, substitute out hammers, bats, and golf clubs: yet it all has the same general effect, score and cinematic.

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